Outmaneuvered
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Staying one step ahead was a constant challenge. First in a three story arc.


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**Outmaneuvered**

It was official. David Rossi was an overgrown bully wrapped up in a thousand dollar suit.

Staring down at the pristine engraved card that took center stage on her already crowded desk, Jennifer Jareau bit back a decidedly unladylike curse as she narrowed her eyes in disdain once again. According to that infernal piece of paper, the man that she had been attempting to avoid like the plague had found a way to infect her with his presence…and had finagled Presidential approval in doing so!

The ringing phone interrupted her increasingly negative thoughts, and she grabbed for the receiver. "Jareau," she barked, her lips pursing as she tapped her fingers against the edge of her desk.

"Well, from that tone, I'd say that asking you how you are doing isn't exactly necessary," Penelope Garcia chirped through the phone line. "Who or what is putting the pits in your world, Peaches?"

"Trust me, Garcie, you wouldn't believe me if I told you," JJ assured her friend, leaning forward to glare at the Presidential seal embossed on the linen paper. "Answer me this, Garcie. You know everything. Tell me if it is a federal offense for one person to confirm another person's attendance to a White House event without the second person knowing anything about it."

"Hmmmm. Passing up an opportunity to meet our Commander in Chief? Somehow I doubt it, Angelfish. I'm assuming our resident Lothario has maneuvered you into this untenable position?" Garcia asked, already knowing the answer. After all, why wouldn't she? She was the one that had thought of this diabolical plan, after all.

Hurling her petite frame into her office chair, JJ narrowed her eyes as she glared at the invitation. Mentally willing the card stock currently mocking her on her desk to burst into flame, she bit out, "Who else?"

"Sweets, Agent Rossi really isn't that bad. You know, I checked him out and..."

"Stop right there, Garcia," JJ ordered sternly, her shoulders stiffening as she began to see the plot before her. "Did you have something to do with this latest ploy of his?" she asked suspiciously.

"What?" Garcia gulped, her eyes widening. "Why would you even ask me that?" she blustered, avoiding the question.

Relenting slightly at the obvious aghast tone in her best friend's voice, JJ sighed. "Sorry, Garcie. I just...what do I have to do? Dress like a nun? Don a habit? Carry around a crucifix?"

"That depends. Do you think Rossi is possessed by the devil?" Garcia giggled, leaning back in her chair as she crossed her leg and adjusted the headset around her ears.

"Anything is possible," JJ grumbled, reaching out to finger the expensive invitation. "I don't exactly think it's the power of Christ that's compelling him, though."

Hearing Garcia's laugh at that observation, JJ rolled her eyes. "It isn't funny, Garcia. You know, this fundraiser cost five grand a plate. In one fell swoop, he dropped ten grand on a date."

"You've at least got to give the guy one thing. He's definitely motivated," Garcia offered gently.

"He's delusional," JJ muttered, her fingers twisting around the phone cord. "I can't possibly date him," JJ whispered into the phone, her eyes traveling to the partially open doorway of her office. The last thing she wanted was for her new assistant to overhear this conversation and share the gossip with the National Enquirer.

"Give me three good reasons why not," Garcia replied easily.

"He's inappropriate, Pen."

"How so?" Pen asked gamely, propping her chin in her hand as she waiting for Jennifer Jareau's explanation. Bring it on, bestie, she thought to herself. I'll shoot every one of those arguments down quicker than Annie Oakley can get her gun.

"Fine," JJ replied impatiently, tapping her manicured nails against the edge of her desk blotter. "There's the age difference."

"May/December romances are hot, chica. With age comes experience in all the right ways," Garcia noted suggestively, holding back a chuckle that was threatening to escape.

"We work together," JJ objected quickly, trying to erase any mental pictures that Garcia's observation had created. .

"Which means you both have a healthy appreciation for the trials and tribulations the other one suffers. You could commiserate over bad cases and celebrate the successful outcomes. Together."

"He's a tyrant, Garcie," JJ whined desperately. "I'm fairly certain that Hitler and Castro didn't have shit on David Rossi when he gets his mind on something."

"So he has a one track mind. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. He finds something he wants and goes after it."

"Mmmm," JJ nodded. "And he went after it three times. Guess how many times he got bored after catching the brass ring?"

"Au contraire. My intel says that our SuperAgent tried very hard to hold onto that first brass ring with his high school sweetheart. Wife Numero Dos was as much a work-o-holic as he was. She wasn't interested in saving her marriage. And the third...well," Garcia paused, searching for a way to explain the dissolution of David Rossi's third marriage. "Well, everybody makes mistakes," she said lamely, deciding there was absolutely no way she could show the Vegas showgirl in a good light. "If you ask me, the triad was just Rossi gearing up for his grand finale."

"And I hope he finds her. Quickly," JJ mumbled.

"I think that he thinks he already has, amiga," Garcia grinned.

"I can assure you that he has not," JJ sniffed, determined to hold her ground. "A relationship with somebody known for being bad at them is exactly what I don't need."

"Listen, my reluctant little gal pal, it's been almost eight months since you so much as had dinner with another man. It's time to get back on the horse."

"Why?" JJ grunted. "So I can fall off the damned thing again? Not so anxious to do that, Pen. It was a long way down."

"David Rossi is not Will LaMontagne, Buttercup," Garcia pressed. "That's one certainty you can depend on."

"No," JJ agreed, "he's definitely not. I could at least manage Will most of the time. At least until I caught him in bed with the babysitter."

"To our dear dapper fellow comrade's credit, there's absolutely no history of infidelity in his past," Garcia pointed out.

"Exactly whose side are you on here, Garcia?" JJ asked grumpily.

"Yours. Always yours, Jayje," Garcia replied dutifully.

"Then why are you pushing David Rossi at me?" JJ asked tiredly.

"Because I was there that very drunken night six months ago when you admitted to some very interesting fantasies regarding said man. You like him, Jayje. And not in that platonic, "I just wanna be friends" way. Admit it," Garcia dared.

"How could you be as drunk as we were and remember that conversation?" JJ groaned, once again kicking herself for that unfortunate night. She'd known better than to try and keep up with Garcia.

"Innate talent of a goddess," Garcia shrugged easily, grinning as she heard JJ's answering groan.

"So I've let my mind wander occasionally," JJ said defensively. "Thinking about it and acting on it are two entirely different things. Nobody ever got hurt in an X-rated dream."

"Rossi would cut off his arm before he ever hurt anybody on this team and you know that," Penelope defended the man that she'd watched spend the last eighteen months watching JJ.

"I didn't say he'd do it intentionally," JJ huffed. "But his track record speaks volumes, Garcie. Hell, it doesn't even speak. It shrieks!"

"You know, I never thought you were so judgmental, Jayje," Pen chided. "Everyone makes mistakes," she reminded her friend. "Even you."

"I know. I made a big one, Penny. Why do you think I'm so determined to avoid making another."

"You can't spend the rest of your life hiding from love because you're afraid of the possibility of failure," Pen denied.

"With Rossi it's not just a possibility. It's a probability," JJ snorted, her fingers tightening on the phone.

"Ye of little faith. He might just shock you, you know. David Rossi might have his little eccentricities, but he's one of the good guys," Garcia mused aloud. "At the very least, sweetie, you're gonna have to face the fact that you've been outmaneuvered on this one. You've got yourself a date whether you want it or not. Or are you gonna stand up one of D.C.'s most prized bachelors at the biggest gala of the year?"

"Damn it," JJ hissed, cringing. When she put it like that, how the hell was she going to extract herself from this situation? "I'm trapped, aren't I? That jerk has finally backed me into a corner I can't get out of."

"Buck up, Peaches. A lot can happen in a secluded corner, and, trust me, it ain't all bad," Garcia smiled happily.

Pressing her lips together, JJ silently counted to ten. Angering a woman as apt as Penelope Garcia wouldn't win her any points. "It ain't over til it's over, Pen. And I'm not going down without a fight," JJ managed evenly.

And as Garcia heard JJ hang up the phone, she silently wished David Rossi the best of luck.

He'd need it.

**Finis**

**Stay Tuned for "Outflanked" and "Outfoxed"**


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